Archive for May, 2009

To Tina who sent me peanut shells

May 26, 2009

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Tina, thank you for sending me your peanut shells. One could only imagine what you look like, my guess would be your 5’5, 226 lbs of sexy sweaty female hotness. I wonder how many peanuts you ate. Did you eat a handful? Was is half the bag? Or perhaps the whole bag? Im gonna take a wild guess and say the whole bag. For some odd reason im tempted to put a few of these shells in my mouth, just so it can bring me closer to you Tina. Maybe we have a connection, and will find it through these peanut shells you sent me. I can only hope. Tina please do me a favor next time, instead of peanut shells how about you send me a picture of you and a pair of your nice worn panties. Now thats something a JUNKNER would appreciate!

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To the man who sent me dirty socks

May 26, 2009

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Ok, so on Saturday I received 2 packages from fellow JUNKNERS. Inside was exactly what I was looking for. Let me start with package 1. I could tell this was going to be something good, as it had a stench that smelt worse than an old babys dirty diaper. I opened it up and found these 2 beautiful worn, smelly, stinky tube socks. Im pretty sure the guy who sent these to me has to be named Bubba or Jerimiah, and he is a maintainence worker in his community trailor park. These socks scream white trash all the way! Nothing against white trash, I am white to. But man Bubba must not shower but 1 time every few weeks. Id love to see him sitting on the steps to his trailor in these socks, with no shoes on, Budweiser can in hand, a white wife beater on, and smoking on a Marlboro Red. Wellllllll I reckonnn. Bubba please put down the beer, take off the socks, take of the wife beater, and jump in the fuckin shower! Im sure you neighbors would appreciate it to.

Ill start this item with a minimum bid of: $25.00

Why I hate Rosie O’Donnell

May 22, 2009

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Hmm well besides the pic above, what else more is there to say? I have always disliked Rosie, and I always will. She is a loud mouth, disgusting, not easy on the eyes, gorilla looking wanna be know it all. She just disgusts me to the point to where I would eat a 8 day old hamburger out of the trash can then watch her on TV. How is she still on TV? WTF? Who wants to hear her talk at all? Her voice is fucking annoying. I’d rather listen to 98 Degrees all day long then hear her talk for 5 minutes. Who wants to hear her give her opinions? Shes a dumbass and makes me want to throw up. She could never be a JUNKNER, even though she is absolutely disgusting. OK, thats my serious rant of the day. More rants like this not to come…

Maybe I should add

May 21, 2009

Well since I need to get people to my blog to actually send me junk, I need to write more and more. What do I hate about this world? Pepperidge Farm bread! You have to unwrap one wrapper, and then another, just to make a fucking sandwhich. What the hell is up with that? If I wanted making a sandwhich to be so complicated, I wouldve gone to Harvard.

On a serious note, check out Origami Boulder. Now this is some junk I’d like to get! Maybe they can send me a free sample and I can upload a video of me wiping my ass with it. Im sure you fellow JUNKERS would love to see that!

The beginning of social networking websites

Well Well my first post

May 20, 2009

Why did I start this blog? Because I want to rant and rave over anything I possibly can. On my blog, I am always right! So how did I get the title SEND ME YOUR JUNK? Well, lets see….  I was drunk one night and I decided I want random people to send me some of their junk. When I get the junk in the mail, i’ll post pics and bitch about how worthless and how much of a waste of my time it was to open up the package, look at it, and take pictures of it, and then blog about it. I dont really care what you send, but I dont want human shit, dog shit, cat shit….etc coming in the mail to my house. I just want pure junk. I could go for some old Kit-Kat bar wrappers..

Then guess what im gonna do with that junk? Im gonna sell it to your fellow blog readers!

Then they can blog about how they bought worthless junk from SEND ME YOUR JUNK

I will be sure to post some blogs about everyday things that piss me off, make me happy, or that I just dont give a shit about, so be sure to bookmark me.

Tell your friends to send me some of their junk to, and to be a fellow JUNKNER!

Yep, it’s now official, my blog readers will be known as JUNKNERS! So be happy, sit up straight, eat another honey bun, and send me the wrapper!