Archive for the 'MY JUNK' Category

To Tina who sent me peanut shells

May 26, 2009

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Tina, thank you for sending me your peanut shells. One could only imagine what you look like, my guess would be your 5’5, 226 lbs of sexy sweaty female hotness. I wonder how many peanuts you ate. Did you eat a handful? Was is half the bag? Or perhaps the whole bag? Im gonna take a wild guess and say the whole bag. For some odd reason im tempted to put a few of these shells in my mouth, just so it can bring me closer to you Tina. Maybe we have a connection, and will find it through these peanut shells you sent me. I can only hope. Tina please do me a favor next time, instead of peanut shells how about you send me a picture of you and a pair of your nice worn panties. Now thats something a JUNKNER would appreciate!

To the man who sent me dirty socks

May 26, 2009

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Ok, so on Saturday I received 2 packages from fellow JUNKNERS. Inside was exactly what I was looking for. Let me start with package 1. I could tell this was going to be something good, as it had a stench that smelt worse than an old babys dirty diaper. I opened it up and found these 2 beautiful worn, smelly, stinky tube socks. Im pretty sure the guy who sent these to me has to be named Bubba or Jerimiah, and he is a maintainence worker in his community trailor park. These socks scream white trash all the way! Nothing against white trash, I am white to. But man Bubba must not shower but 1 time every few weeks. Id love to see him sitting on the steps to his trailor in these socks, with no shoes on, Budweiser can in hand, a white wife beater on, and smoking on a Marlboro Red. Wellllllll I reckonnn. Bubba please put down the beer, take off the socks, take of the wife beater, and jump in the fuckin shower! Im sure you neighbors would appreciate it to.

Ill start this item with a minimum bid of: $25.00